The jackasses in Pyongyang who write the worshipful hagiographies of the dear leader in brutally stilted English really do crank out the comedy gold. For instance:
He Cares for Everything
On the afternoon of August 17, 1975, the dear leader Kim Jong Il appeared on Ragwon Street to inspect the newly built flats.
He first looked at flat No. 4 on the second floor of block No. 4.
Standing in the bright, spacious entrance hall, he seemed very satisfied. “This has three rooms, I see,” he said.
He looked into the three rooms one after another and asked the officials whether the furnishings would be the same in the other flats as well.
In the kitchen he carefully examined a complete set of kitchen utensils, the cupboard and the refrigerator. Saying that they were very good, he ordered the furniture factory under the Administration Council to supply the citizens with a great deal of furniture.
He told the officials to supply the apartments in Ragwon Street with superfine furniture. TV set, refrigerator, washing machine and all kinds of furniture should be supplied to every flat, and they should be paid for by monthly installments. The terms of payment should be set favourably for the dwellers.
In the living room he said a low table would be more agreeable for the heated floor room than a desk and advised providing a Korean-style bookstand, low dining table and foam-cushion bed with 20-centimetre-high legs. How delighted people would then be, he remarked.
Oh, undoubtedly. I can remember how ecstatically happy I was when I discovered that my bed had 20-centimetre-high legs.
The exciting conclusion after the jump!
